Understanding who you want to become

This simple state of mind is the key.

I am often asked, “How is it that you have such clarity?” It is not a secret and it's not hard unless you make it so.

It’s essential to dig deep though. Clarity is not the first thing that comes to mind, and it certainly isn’t going to be the easiest path as it will require you to know and understand your inner self. It will require you to stay focused until you reach that “pin head on that needle”.

Finding your place of clarity is the key and then it’s about taking action. 

Over centuries, our lives have been filled with “noise”, “shiny objects”, and ego and what is simple has been made complicated. We are always in pursuit of someone else’s external image. We live blindly and vicariously through that image as we look through their lens and then feel like we are on a merry-go-round or stuck because we are not doing what they are doing and we don’t know how to get off the hamster wheel.

That is noise.

The noise of life will always be there but knowing what you want for yourself is the key to leaving the noise behind. Being able to hear yourself through the noise is the key.

Begin with knowing what you want clarity about. 

Knowing what you want specifically and understanding why it’s so important to you begins the process of becoming clear about who you choose to become. Choose the very one thing that will make you say: “I've done it. I've actually done it.” when you take that last breath.

When we look at things that we want, they are usually materialistic, they form part of our ego and they are about stature, visibility, and self-satisfaction. These are not what I refer to when I say to dig deep so that you better understand yourself and choose who you want to become. This earlier pattern I have just identified is the game of “chase”. If this is where you want to be, that is great, this is your choice, and you can take from this article what works for you and leave the rest behind. 

For those that continue to be curious, know that this is a process that over time will become narrow and bring you to that “pin head on that needle”.

You will begin to form an idea, you will tweak, change, and adapt and the more you focus, the more refined your point of clarity will become. Don’t be disenfranchised if this does not happen in weeks or months, remember you are also unlearning how you lived, thought, and practised the art of living most of your life, so it will take time. You are developing a new muscle and it needs time to strengthen.

Is it hard? 

At this stage, you may begin to tell yourself that it is, which is why I share my knowledge, so that you don’t talk yourself out of it and that you don’t default into what has become your belief through the “noise” that has surrounded you most of your life. 

This is about choice. Letting go of who you are so that you can become who you choose to be. This is the roadmap to your clarity, not mine, not the marketing person on every social media platform, not the person who is looking for personal gain, but your clarity so yes, it takes time, but it’s not hard.

This is when you dig deep.

Only you can know why this is so important to you. Only you know why following this process to get you to where you want to be is going to bring you joy.

Most people will make decisions based on what they are running from. Whilst there are lessons to draw on from our past, it is the learning that will enable us to know what we want, and what we don’t want. We do however want the learning to come forward with antifragility so that we leave the emotions behind. Applying second, third and fourth-order thinking will also help to mitigate risks.

If you have run away in your past, it’s important to pause and recognise patterns so that you don’t keep repeating the things that did not serve you and that includes friendships, personal decisions, and business ones. 

Until you have acknowledged where you have been, you won't know where you are going. This is why people give up or begin to think it’s too hard. But this is what differentiates those that get there and those that default to what they have always done.

So now that you have made a choice, it’s time to act. 

Is today different to where you were yesterday? 

So here we are. You are now at the beginning. Whilst you have changed your perspective of what you want and who you want to become, you are now at the beginning of having changed the lens through which you see things. This is where the defining and refining start to play out. 

This is really your new beginning and as long as you stay in pursuit of who you want to become, you will reach that place of clarity.

I want to leave you with one more simple step that will help you stay on track. Yes, you can do this and keep checking in with yourself. Ask yourself this one question: Will this take me to what I aim to be or will this distract me?