Mentor vs Coach
What is the difference between Mentoring and Coaching?
A frequent question and something that everyone stops to think about and then second guesses themselves. I have been to conferences, leadership workshops and training days where this comes up and everyone turns to one another like it’s a trick question.
When I think about it, what comes to mind is that we all tend to operate from both places when we speak with colleagues, peers, employees, and students, so to pause and try and label the difference between the two makes us second guess ourselves, we shrug our shoulders and look at each other for the answers.
So in simple terms, I have provided what I see as the difference, but I will share further along, how both have similarities too – yes, I know this is what adds to the confusion.
Mentoring: My definition
Mentor shares their knowledge, skills and/or lived experiences to help others to develop and grow. They are readily available and capable in sharing their stories in a more directive way to help their mentee reach their solutions.
Coaching: My Definition
A coach provides guidance to their client on their goals and helps them reach their full potential. They believe that the client has their own answers but at times gets stuck, so the coach’s role is to enable their client to navigate through the obstacles and achieve their goals.
Looking at these two definitions, I can appreciate that you may still be unsure about what the key differences are, so I will share that one of the most distinct differences is that mentoring is directive, whilst coaching is non-directive. Coaches ask navigational questions to allow the client to identify the solutions for themselves.
What does that mean in practice?
Well, in the mentoring meetings, the mentor tends to be doing most of the talking as they outline the scenario, the situation, that they need to work through so they are doing more of the talking, whereas in coaching it is likely that the coach has listened to what has been presented and then begins to navigate through a series of questions and then allows their client the space to reflect and present a way forward.
The similarities between Mentoring and Coaching
Ultimately, both coaching and mentoring are facilitated ways to help people develop their quality of thinking about issues that are important to them and to enable them to get to where they want to go.
Both situations require an agreement on what the objectives are and the terms in which the meetings will be conducted. Expectations and boundaries are integral in both of these relationships and are vital at the onset to ensure that both parties are in alignment before they begin.
Both relationships require trust to be formed and a breech in this trust will be detrimental to both relationships, so be mindful of the position of privilege that is held in these situations.
What to look for when making a decision about what you need
The first thing I would suggest is to determine if you have identified the style of coach or mentor you can work with. Reflect on who in your past has energised you, inspired you and encouraged you to perform at your best. Identify the skills and traits that they hold that will serve you in this relationship.
The second thing to ask yourself is, is there a timeline that you need to work towards? Knowing this will also enable you to determine if the person you seek out has the capacity to work within your timelines.
The third thing would be to ask if you have done something similar to what you aim to do, and will be able to draw on your own skills or if you will need someone who has “lived experience” that can support you to direct you.
The last thing, are you committed to this journey? This relationship is more about you rather than anything else. You need to drive these sessions and know what you want to achieve from your Mentor or Coach. You will get out of these sessions as much as you are prepared to invest in them.
Be confident in asking for what you want, because it is only when you ask that you can receive.